Welcome to the chaos of Funny- Farm Mama. 

Just a Regular ass mom doing regular ass things

Hey! I'm Sarina; thank you for stopping by to check out my blog! I'm not really sure what prompted me to start one, but I figured "Hey! my life is chaos anyways, may as well entertain someone in the process."  Other bougie moms do this and make bank; and I think they're boring, so why can't I?! 

 

I'm a 32 year old plus sized mama with a big mouth and an even bigger heart. I have one, tiny sasshole (definition a small child who is a sassy asshole) who is 6 going on 15. Being a mom has been the absolute best experience of my life. I realized I was going to be a single mom by the 3rd trimester in my pregnancy; I decided that I was going to do everything in my power not to become a statistic and prove everyone wrong.

When my daughter was 1 year old, I enrolled in a "Business Administration Diploma" full-time. It was a challenging time, but I found out just how strong I am. I also found out that it makes absolutely perfect sense where my daughter gets her stubbornness from. I'll never be one of those moms who says "I have no idea where she gets it from!" I know where she gets it from and I'm oddly proud, yet terrified. 

When my daughter turned 3, I moved us out of the city and into a cozy little community;  where the homeschool and horse communities were welcoming and thriving. I moved my daughter and my 2 horses in with the love of my life (gross, I know!) I got hired on as a haul truck driver and learned a lot about myself. I learned that I definitely do still get car sick, specifically when someone else is driving the haul truck. I also learned that I probably should have quit that job after hurling the first time, but my ever so lovely stubborness had another idea; so, I stuck it out. 

In 2024, I was rear ended by a lady texting and driving and it broke something in my butt! Not literally, but it did something to my low back and sciatic nerve; to the point where I am still going to weekly appointments to improve my quality of life; or at least, attempt to. Since being off work, I've been trying to figure out "Who Sarina is." and, I think I'm starting to really like her. I want to be friends with her, I want to be friends with me!

When my daughter and I moved , my boyfriend had 4 snakes, a dog named "Cujo" and a cat named "Church" (noticing a theme there?) He had 2 Ball Pythons named Opie and Eve (who's name is still "Steve" because my daughter couldn't pronounce Eve when she was little.), one Columbian Redtail Boa named Bonnie (Don't ask about Clyde; he gone! I don't blame Bonnie sometimes), and a baby Brazilian Rainbow boa named "Lopez", (it's an inside joke from the movie "Anaconda.") My mother is deathly afraid of snakes and asked "Why couldn't you find a man who didn't live 3 hours away and didn't have FOUR snakes?!"

Well, when I moved here we got another dog and named her Porkchop and for my 30th birthday, my mother in law got me a bearded dragon. In case you lost count, that is 10 pets thus far; but ohhh 3 years later we are FAR from at our top capacity. In fact, I think we both heard our parents say "you can have as many pets as you want when you move out and we both went "Challenge accepted!"

It's now September 3, 2026; We now own a wildie mare (Gemma) and her foal (Winston),  my 20 year old mare, Tequila and my daughter's 8 year old pony Mojito, 4 snakes, 2 dogs, 1 cat, 7 chickens (Jessica, Rumi, Flower, Butterfly, (my personal favourite) Emily Henelope, River and Bell. I saved you some work and did the counting for you; that's 18 EXTRA mouths to feed. How do I do it?! I'm not sure, but come along for the ride. We say "fuck" a lot, drink good coffee and share a lot of laughs. We have set up our life to allow our entire family, quirks and all to be just yourself! 






 

 

Come along for our crazy adventure called "LIFE!"

Hi, I am the Funny-Farm Mama! I created this space to share the reality of raising kids, managing farm animals and teaching at home. If you say "fuck" a lot, are working on a tight budget and don't fit into societal norms; this is the space for you!

This is a completely non-judgmental space where we create our own village, support each other and laugh (or cry) through it all. Being a mom is tough, we're tougher; but sometimes, being a tough bitch is exhausting!

The Chaos of Today

Check out what I got up to today and what sort of chaos arises in every day life. 

Well, this morning, I opened up my laptop thinking  "what should I post today?" As I flipped my laptop open, a squished bunny turd fell out of the crease; so that is how MY morning is going!

 

Homeschool project gone horribly wrong

Sep 7, 2026 3:53 p.m.

This summer, we decided to get into owning chickens. We deliberated between getting POL (point of lay) hens and decided on incubating our own eggs to experience life from conception to hatch. My girl friend gave me 12 Australorp eggs and we borrowed an incubator from a local lady and got to work. We candled all 12 eggs, placed them in the incubator and waited. Day 7, we candled them again and saw many of them starting to develop. Day 11 we candled them again and the last time on day 14 to check which ones were viable and still developing, and which ones could be removed.We ended up with 6 viable, developing eggs and were excited to see the beginning of life. We waited, and waited and waited...finally on day 21, the eggs began to hatch. By day 23 we had 2 chickies and we waited patiently for the other 4. After day 27, I decided to candle again and then made the executive decision to crack the unhatched ones. 2 of the unhatched chickies had stopped developing somewhere along day 10-14, one had stopped developing almost immediately and one was very close to hatching and never did. This left us with 2 chickies and one had special needs; we realized by day 2 that the one had severely splayed legs, so I looked up how to help it and wrapped it's little legs in a bandaid as a splint for 7 days. Unfortunately, I realized it was not improving as quickly as it should be and upon further investigation; uncovered that it had a severe infection in it's hocks. We decided to humanely euthanize the little love before it suffered too much; which left us with one very lonely, very loud baby chicken. 

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Tequila's daily antics

Sep 4, 2026 12:39 a.m.

My daughter is away visiting her grandparents for a week or so, and I can only keep my damn house so clean with the dogs...and the guy constantly in and out. Add farm boots, the indoor/outdoor kitty cat, and...well, I give up! My bathroom is clean and I can only change grubby little chicken cages so often. So, I've decided to spend some extra time with my big 4 legged kids this week. 

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How I fucked up my schedule for the day

Sep 3, 2026 2:41 p.m.

This morning, I woke up to my alarm to get to a chiropractor appointment an hour away. Ah yes, the joys of living in a small town means traveling for almost all obligations and shopping. I got all of the animals fed at home (2 dogs, cat, bearded dragon, 2 chickies and bunny); got my shit together, said goodbye to my boyfriend and headed out the door. Once I got to the car I thought to myself "Huh, I don't think I received a confirmation text reminding me of my appointment today." I checked my messages; nothing, I checked my email; nothing. I called the office and explained that I had booked an appointment online, but then also signed up for the waitlist for a later appointment. To my surprise, I guess adding myself to the waitlist; removed my original appointment, so I circled the block and drove back home. My boyfriend was rather surprised when I got home so promptly. Needless to say, I'll be double checking my bookings from now on; but thank God I realized before making the hour long trek. Mom brain for the win!

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This morning I headed out front to take my garbage out after the long weekend. I looked at my beautiful petunias, and realized; something ATE them! Like, gone! So I guess the moral is no matter how long you nurture something, nature can and will take care of itself. Thank you, deer! 

Sept 8, 2026

I don't need help! Damnit!

This evening, my daughter came out of my room in tears, and I thought "what could have possibly happened while watching a movie?" She had been at nana and papa's for a week, and had been waiting the longest time to get home, so she could watch her new, favourite movie on Crave "200% Wolf" , because nana and papa don't have Crave. Fair. 

I amble into the bedroom and begin trying to problem solve. I can't get it sorted on the TV so I go and get my laptop. I try to get logged into my Prime account; and of course not! , because multifactor authenication. Well, let me tell you!, as a mom with a scatter brain, ADHD and over stimulation galore; that 2 word phrase might be the absolute bane of my existence.

My phone was 99.9% dead, in another room next to a boyfriend with headphones on and I was not in the mood to go and get it to approve the request, blah, blah blah. Anywho, I finally caved and sent my daughter to get it after trying no less than 100 different ways to somehow outsmart the AI filters and be able to bypass the 2nd authentication factor. Honestly, it would have been faster to go and get my phone 5 times over.  But, we all know I definitely didn't take the easy route.

So here we are; turns out, when she was seeing the tab to click on the Roku TV menu for that particular movie, it was taking her in through the Crave app, not through Prime. 

Do we want to know how this ALL started? I didn't want to go and ask my boyriend for help, despite knowing it is currently logged in on his phone; because I'm stubborn and I can do it my fuckin' self! 

Moral of the story: Ask for fuckin' help!


Today; I am doing "Nothing"

I have told myself that today, I am doing nothing. However, we all know that's a load of shit; because my idea of nothing is still the average person's idea of everything. By nothing, I simply mean I'm going to have a "slow" start to my day, and by that I mean I'm going to scroll jobs and book appointments while drinking my coffee. I'm then going to walk into the kitchen; notice the dishes need to be done and have a quiet panic attack. I'm then going to do the dishes, because "how dare dishes need to be done!" 

I'm also probably going to do a million things that have been on my "later" list for a month, like, organizing our shed and donating toys my daughter no longer fits, cleaning the chicken coop, applying for jobs and beating myself up for having a home day instead of going to train horses; like I'm "supposed" to do. I'll also probably convince myself that I need to do some baking; because lord forbid I actually sit down and relax for my "nothing" day. Do you have "nothing" days and how do you actually do nothing?

Signed, a burnt out, tired mama who can't do nothing!

Who's learning more?!

Today, started out kind of shit; but, progressively got better. I woke up and decided to make a coffee, and was horribly disappointed to find out I had exactly zero coffee cream and zero patience for finding this information out. However, I had to dog sit this morning, a tiny dog named "Kevin", so I begrudgingly put on pants and headed out the door. I took Kevin outside, spent some time with him and then headed home. I have to care for Kevin twice today, so once at 9am and again at 12. But oh, my day gets infinitely busier! See, between caring for Kevin both times, I had to run out and care for my 4 horses (I board about 15 mins away from our home). 

After caring for my horses, I rushed home to pick up my daughter, who hadn't eaten, and is an absolute joy when she's hangry. I grabbed some pancake mix and headed back up to Kevin's with my grumpy child in tow. She was enamoured with Kevin, and I thought "Good! I can make her a pancake and get her to eat before we go pick up my girl friend and her 2 boys!"

Oh boy was I incorrect, my child outright refused to eat and told me "You can't force me to eat if I'm not hungry!" Which I adamantly agree with, but also, please for the love of all that is good, EAT! So fun fact; she didn't eat and we had exactly 5 minutes to get across town, install 2 more car seats and get 25 minutes out of town to my other friend's for an afternoon of learning to crochet and playing! 

Guess what?! Surprise, surprise, I was late and thankfully my friends are understanding and patient with my shit. I sat down on the couch and listened to my friend's mother teach a lesson in crocheting while the kids played outside. Fortunately, my daughter is significantly less hangry when spending time with other people and she thrived the entire afternoon until cheesecake time (Super balanced meal planning, I know! ) I realized that crocheting might be something I actually stick with because it's forgiving, easy to correct and easy to understand. Plus, I make progress very quickly which appeases my instant gratification brain! 

At the end of the lesson, the kids played for a little bit longer (8 in total), and we sat down and bullshit about anything and everything. The kiddos were getting tired, so we loaded the 3 little goobers up and headed home. 

I guess the moral of today is; I absolutely, completely stressed myself out, and there was no reason for me to be stressed or late; because the smaller version of me wouldn't eat what made us late anyways!


I started a chore I don't wanna finish!

Oh my Lord, 

This felt like a never ending marathon week. I had 3 or 4 appointments every single day this week, including, a 6 hour...yes SIX HOUR oil change. Thank you, Ford.

I started pulling my daughter's room apart on Monday, because we wanted to create more play space for her. So, I started the mammoth of a task on Monday. I pulled ALL of her toy bins into the living room to sort. Finally at midnight, my boyfriend insisted I relax and come to bed; because, he knows me. He knows damn well I would have sorted and organized until 3am when I had to be up at 8am. So I obliged, dropped the toy bins, and headed to bed. 

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday; I walked in, looked at the mess, apologized to my family profusely, made dinner and did the bedtime routine. Because the thought of tackling that God awful chaos, broke my brain a little bit. 

However, Saturday came along and we had plans to organize our reptile room, move our daughter's keyboard to that room and then complete her room together. 

I got up early to see an elderly friend and went to care for my 4 hoover children. I got home and my boyfriend was feeling severely under the weather. And I can't do nothing, right?! Because I had plans to do everything...all of it. So I got to work on my daughter's room. From 5pm-10:30, I organized, sorted and I cleaned the shit out of that room. 

However, I think I broke my butt! I'm recovering from a long term sciatic injury from a car accident, and the repeated movements of sorting...well, my butt keeps giving out when I'm walking. But, but I did the thing!

Did it suck? Yes! Did I get it done? Yes! Do I recommend binge cleaning because "I'm an independent woman?" No, no I don't.

Time for this mama to have a bath and a heating pad. Not simultaneously for clarification! For God's sake! This is blog, not a goodbye note. 

My child's hilarious perspective

Last night, my daughter and I were sitting outside in our backyard. She got her chicken, Rumi, and had her perched on her arm, and she asked me, in all seriousness "mama, is this a good Halloween costume?!" 

I had to gently explain to her that it probably would traumatize her chicken to take her out and about on Halloween night. 

Anyways, what's the most unhinged Halloween costume your child has tried to convince you of?

Be with the person who calls you on your shit!

This evening, I was finishing up my never ending "to do" list as usual. I told my daughter "mommy is going to clean the kitchen, vaccuum quickly and shower. Then I'm going to give you a bath and I quit for the night."

Now, I've said "I quit for the night" many times at the end of a long day, and it never sat quite right with me and I couldn't place my finger on it.

My boyfriend stopped his video game, looked at me and said "I don't want to be rude or upset you, but do you think there's a better way to word that? I realize you didn't mean anything by it, but she may eventually start to question her worth based on that sentence. Because you know...and I know, you simply mean you're done your chores for the day. But it could sound like you're saying that you quit being a mom."

And it hit me like a ton of bricks! I didn't like how it sounded because subconsciously, I'm always thinking of how things worded to me growing up FELT. It wasn't about the word choice, it was about feeling like a job. I don't want my daughter to feel like she's a job, like I have an "off time" for being her mommy. I don't care what time it is, I'll be there for my baby girl. 

So I decided to do the hard thing, and I brought it up with her. I said "do you know when mommy says she quits, I just mean I'm done my chores; right? It doesn't mean I don't love you or I have a time slot for being a mom. Because I always have time for you!"

That forgiving little bean looked at me and said "I know mama, it's ok!"

And sometimes parenting is just parenting that inner version of yourself that wishes they had a grown up like you...and that's ok!

I thanked my boyfriend for bringing it to my attention, because I know what I meant; but maybe she didn't. And even if she did, no one has ever suffered from being reminded they're important. 

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This picture is of my wild mare "Gemma" standing tied for her 2nd time ever!